Ultimate Trolling Guide For Dummies
Sections:
1: What is a Troll
2: Trolling examples
3: How to troll
4: Troll Lines
5: Good trolling addons
1: What Is A Troll?
The term "troll" can mean a number of different things, but in essence, a troll is a person who aims to have 'pleasure' at your expense. There are five main types of trolls. The first four are people who pretend to be someone that they are not - they create personae that you think are real, but they know is fictitious.
To "troll" means to allure, to fish, to entice or to bait.
Internet trolls are people who fish for other people's confidence and, once found, exploit it.
Playtime Trolls: an individual plays a simple, short game. Such trolls are relatively easy to spot because their attack or provocation is fairly blatant, and the persona is fairly two-dimensional.
Tactical Trolls: This is where the troller takes the game more seriously, creates a credible persona to gain the confidence of others, and provokes strife in a subtle and insidious way.
Strategic Trolls: A very serious form of game, involving the production of an overall strategy that can take months or years to develop. It can also involve a number of people acting together in order to invade a list.
Domination Trolls: This is where the trollers' strategy extends to the creation and running of apparently bona-fide mailing lists.
Psycho Trolls: These trolls have an unconscious psychological need to feel good by making others feel bad. Such people may use their real names on the internet, and they may not even realize that they are "trolling".
Derp Trolls: Herp Derp.. Not much to say.
The Five Different Types of Trolls (WoW Machinima) - YouTube
Trolling Examples:
Example One: Getting a Rise out of Trade Chat
There are three top contenders for "best troll ever" at getting people in trade chat overly worked up for no good reason.
1. Bold statements about random religious figures.
2. Incorrect statements about beloved sci-fi or fantasy worlds.
3. Epic theoretical battles.
All are good choices, but if you ask me, religious figures are a bit too easy. And a bit too likely to result in actual violence in this day and age. I try to stay away from these, but they are definitely fair game if you're so inclined.
Incorrect statements about beloved sci-fi or fantasy worlds are much more fun, mostly because it's amazing to me how worked up people will get about an entirely invented universe. Try any of the following troll examples in your own favorite trade chat:
- "Luke Skywalker totally did it with Leah before he figured out she was his sister."
- "In real life, Wayne Enterprises never would have gotten off the ground."
- "No way a radioactive spider gives you superpowers. Comics are stupid."
- "A different colored sun makes you able to fly? Where's the science in that???"
- "Wolverine wasn't a real superhero. They just operated on his hands."
The best thing about epic theoretical battles is that they can mix and match any of the other two categories as well. Feel free to be creative.
I'd add in the religious figures, but I'm trying to write about trolling. I'm not trying to be one. Plus, I don't like hate mail. I prefer to generate my trolling response flames in online games like World of Warcraft, where the people I'm trolling can't find my email address.
Example Two: Pissing Off Your Raid Leader
As a raid leader myself, I'm somewhat loathed to include this one, but I have to admit it has a proven track record of success. For greatest effect, wait until the raid is really going down the toilet. I'm talking wiping before the 30-second mark epic fail. Then start acting like you have no idea what's going wrong. Fair warning though, if used too effectively, it could earn you a guild kick. You might want to save it for pug raids you were about to bail on anyway. Here are a few classics:
- "Which traps are we supposed to stay out of again? The red ones or the blue ones?" (Especially effective when both traps are bad.)
- "Why was everybody frozen at the end? Is that a boss mechanic?" (This works whether freezing really is a boss mechanic or you're just pretending to have horrible latency issues.)
- "Which wall am I supposed to run to when I have the debuff? Cause this room is a circle, by the way." (Especially effective when the raid leader has placed a flag to run to and explained this fact at least 7 times.)
- "Why isn't his health moving?" (Works especially well when you aren't supposed to be hitting the boss at all during the first phase of the fight.)
2: how to..
1: press enter.
2: write "/2".
3: press space.
4: write your best troll line!
5: press enter
6: get comfortable
7: watch trade.
3: Troll Lines
1: "Man, I noticed, on the internet if you ever talk about how drugs are illegal or how they are bad for you, you get all the stoners coming out of the woodworks saying how ignorant you are, probably as they do drugs right then. Guess all the pot made them dumb."
2: "The last person to link (insert legendary here) gets 5000g."
3: "Why is Zelda always trying to save the princess?"
4: Every kind of ANAL (insert link of whatever you want here) usually works.
5: "Why is the Lich Kings mount called Invincible if you can see it?"
6: "Eminem is the greatest artist ever and if you disagree you are clearly racist."
7: "[insert name of best guild on your server] buys gold and have eBay characters."
8: "Jesus died for your sins, so if you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing."
9: "Is huntard a hero class or something?"
10: find a bible, read a random line, find popcorn
11: "Is Metroid's gun attached to his arm, or is it part of his suit?"
12: "Do you know why they call it an Xbox 360? Because when you see it you do a 360 and walk away!"
13: "6 - 6 * 6 = ?" (Guaranteed = first four answers AT THE LEAST will be "0")
14: "Metal isn't music"
15: "I can't believe Haiti got Cataclysm before we did."
16: "What's the big deal with Death Knights? I've been owning people with mine since level 1."
17: "At which level do hunters learn tame breasts?"
18: As a death knight, when you are in raids and you need to cross water (example: SoO after Sha of Pride) enable water walking buff and wait for everyone to be on the water and the disable the buff.
19: [tom1180] "Best [Insert your class name here] EU/NA LF arena partner for cap, You will get a free boost to 2700"
20: The ultimate Line! (Warning: Prepare for SHIT STORM!) "PvE takes more skill than PvP"
21: "What if Zelda was a girl?"
22: "Girls don't play WoW"
23: "USA>CHINA NEVER FORGET PEARL HARBOR" (us servers.)
24: "Having an AfricanAmerican president is awesome - discuss" (us servers.)
25: "AND THEN GOD SAID UNTO ADAM"
5 seconds later:
"YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS"
26: "CANADA SUCKS" (us servers.)
27: "Can u guys stfu plz unless u have somthinginteligant to say"
28: "Freshly dinged level 100 LFG HFC, 9k dps. I have no achievement, but know to move from green stuff."
29: "HEY GUYS MY CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN"
30: "Will Smith and Dwayne Johnson died in a car crash. It's true, it is on CNN"
31: "There's [Insert number here] amount of Chairs in Orgrimmar"
32: "Pokerface? more like "Poke his face" get it? because Lady Gaga is a dude"
33: "I don't care about what Tiger Woods did to all those women, he is still my favorite basketball player."
34: "Mike Tyson isn't an animal, he's black"
35: "/2 ALL BOW DOWN [insert any realm's first achievement here] (do that every hour!)
36: Quote anything that Crabby says. (The Spectral Crab on battle.net, in the down right corner.)
37: "So I just read the bible the other day, not to spoil the ending but Jesus dies."
38: "I named my iPod titanic, so each time I boot up iTunes it says "syncing Titanic"
39: "Jesus said to his disciples: Follow me and you shall receive wisdom.
Thedisciples reply: Give us Kings, NOOB!"
40: act like a Super ultra unicorn fun force gay (advertise yourself)
41: "ANYONE WHO PLAYS WORGEN IS A NOOB TWILIGHT FAN"
42: "You're a nazi cuz you're German."
43: Randomly say: "Um, no, Moses was Christian."
44: If anyone uses the Xbox 360 troll line, then use "HEY GUYS, YOU DO A 360 AND THEN MOONWALK. END OF STORY" and people stop arguing
45: Make a character called "Fritzel", and try to rent out space in a basement below any of the main city's
46: For casters (Link this in chat) /script DEFAULT_CHAT_FRAME:AddMessage("\124cffff8000\124Hi tem:71086:803:3513:3513:3513:0 :0:0:0\124h[Dragonwrath, Tarecgosa's Rest]\124h\124r");
47: For Melee (Link this in chat) /script DEFAULT_CHAT_FRAME:AddMessage("\124cffa335ee\124Hi tem:70723:4097:3511:3511:0:0:0 :0:0\124h[Sulfuras, The Extinguished Hand]\124h\124r");
48: [insert any country here] country is better than the US. (insert reasoning here)" (us servers.)
49: "10 man raiding is clearly harder than 25 man raiding. 25 man lets you carry 5 mouthbreathers. That's the reason they made LFR 25 man."
50: "9-11 was a great day. Weather was fantastic!"
51: Does polymorph turn you into a polygamist?
52: "When Metroid curls up in a ball, does it crush his nuts??"
53: "I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 500. If you can guess it first, you win 5000 gold. GO!"
54: "I BET NO ONE HAS THE BALLS TO SAY THE F WORD ON THIS SERVER..."
55: "LFR is made for PvP'ers and people who have no skill and enjoy gear being handed to them."
56: When you're on the boat for strand of the ancients go onto the stairs, start jumping and say "wow I didn't know they put an invisible wall here"
57: Just about anything said in this video makes for pretty funny trade trolling. Sh*t Nobody Says - YouTube
58: "LF rogue to lockpick Box of Yogg-Saron" (link the item)
59: "WotLK was the best expansion".
60: "Heil der führer"
61: [Dante]: "WTS [Insert Swift Spectral Tiger link here] 50k!" (or something like that...) then whenever someone /whisper you say: "Sorry sold it just a second ago."
62: "Priests suck at healing, they wear cloth and aren't as armored as paladins." (just basically insult one class, say they suck at something and say another one is better)
63: "How do I mine for fish?"
64: "Man, I get bad gas for weeks every time I get an abortion."
65: "Man, that RTS minigame in Uldum sucked. Blizzard should stick to making RPGs, where they actually HAVE experience."
66: "Blizzard isn't Hitler for the latest patch.."
67: "If this game really wants to be successful they should release it on the 360. Millions of people would play it then." *some reply about the millions playing all ready* "No <insert server pop website here> says there's only a couple of thousand playing now more people are playing Halo right now! *rage*"
68: Talk about how you obtained Jewelcrafting on your Protection Shaman During Vanilla (Use your imagination!)
69: Open trade with a random player and put in all the gold you have and just sit idle and look at the whispers. You can also open trade for 5-15 seconds and then close it, the result is a player following you around like a headless chicken whilst spamming you with whispers (the higher amounts, the better i gets)
70: [Mothership] "LFM Onyxias Lair. First boss down"
71: "TROLLING IS ART"
72: [Ghostfang] "Time lost proto drake is up."
73: [Ghostfang] "And just as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after that comes judgment - Hebrews 9:27. Jesus says "first YOLO then Judgement.""
74: [Ghostfang] "Obama is just as capable of leading as Garrosh Hellscream" (us servers.)
75: "WoW was the first mmo ever made, what kind of games did you guys play before?"
76: "Any old school players remember when frost was the DK tanking spec?"
77: "Why doesn't Halo ever take his helmet off?"
78: "any girls from blizzcon wanna meatup?"
79: "lol... I can't believe someone actually wrote a book based on the Lord of the Rings movies"
80: "LFM original 40 man Naxx, come get your tier 3 and achievement!"
81: Whisper people in battlegrounds with "Someone has reported you away from keyboard. In order to not be removed from the instance, please type /afk"
82: [Traxex84] "Lol, check out this dork: http://facebook.com/profile.php?=73322363"
83: [vodkalasswen] "Since when did Europe become a country?"
84: [Kharnak] "How do I equip [insert lockbox or something else stupid here]"
85: [coldMeater] "Since when did Blizzard disable the shortcut ALT+F4 when you're in-game?"
86: [Picadilly] Explain the core mechanics from other bosses in raids.
87: [Givemhell] "Halo is my favorite robot, He kills aliens and isn't afraid of anything."
88: [Sheepshot1] As a mage wait for someone asking for a portal to somewhere then give them the wrong one. - (Not an actual line, but a classic troll move)
4: Great addon for trolls!
WoW Dings - Chat & Communication - World of Warcraft Addons - Curse
WoW Dings allows you to add funny symbols into your chat messages such as smilies, arrows, hearts etc. Just type the code corresponding to the symbol you want in your message, it will be automatically replaced. For example, :) will be replaced by ☺, (l) will become ♥ and so on. Of course, other players do not need the addon to see the symbols you insert. However, the symbols may not be visible to players who have changed the default font of the game by another one that does not include the symbols.
Please post any lines you have if you would like to contribute to this thread, and i'll add them as soon as possible.
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